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Mr Prescott's new super-Ministry combining Environment,
Transport and everything else has not only solved the Latton By-Pass problem,
but has learned a few other tricks from the world of waterways. A new
authority, British Motorways, is to be set up to look after Britain's roads. It
will be charged with responsibility for increasing the revenue generated by the
road system and adjacent land. All roadside parking will be charged for
according to the length of the vehicle. As a special concession, motorists
parking in their own garage, or "end-of-drive mooring", will only be charged
half the going rate. Motorists will have the option of registering their
vehicle as "permanently motoring", but in that case will not be allowed to stop
anywhere for more than twenty minutes.
British Motorways has promised to standardise its operation
with those of BW and the Environment Agency. To this effect the rules and
standards for the MoT Test for vehicles will be changed every three weeks.
Improved maintenance is promised. All motorways will be
closed for this purpose from the beginning of November to Easter each year. In
towns we can expect to find British Motorways maintenance vehicles parked at
every 'bus stop and traffic light.
Rural lanes and urban back-streets will be classified as
Remainder Motorways whose maintenance will be the responsibility of local
Residents' Associations and the Motorway Recovery Group. Remember – use
'em or lose 'em.
D-reg at Rickmansworth
(the well-known 'bus company)
Originally written for The Henley Reach, the
newsletter of the 1997 National Waterways Festival at Henley.
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