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A connection between the fertile agricultural and industrial
area of the Po Valley and the north and west of Europe has been desirable since
Hannibal had his little difficulty in importing elephants across the Rubicon,
but it fell to the famous expatriate Scottish engineer, Zerubbabel McAstle, to
achieve this feat. McAstle's innovative triumphs over extreme terrain had
permanent effects on Alpine culture, though little of his work is easily
visible today. The operating company, the GeneverundTicinomixenverhkehrsamt,
became generally known as the 'G&Tmixer'.
McAstle decided to approach the central spine of the Alps
via the Rhone and Ticino valleys; because the fast-flowing rivers tended to
flood at snow-melt he built conventional lateral canals, which were plentifully
fed with water by the many tributaries. By allowing a considerable amount of
water movement into and out of the canals via spillways he was able to limit
the icing problem. As might be expected, the locks and other structures were
stone-built and of great solidity.
A completely different solution had to be adopted to the
central Furka and St. Gotthard passes; locks were clearly impractical here.
McAlpine decided that the boats should be raised to the summit of each pass by
aerial ropeways, on which they were suspended in specially designed cradles.
The slopes were steep enough for the boats to be launched down specially cut
tracks in the snow from the top; steering was by steel-tipped rudders in the
normal position, though it was soon found that specially designed double bow
rudders were more effective. As the boatmen found the name Zerubbabel
unpronounceable, it was transmogrified to 'Bob' and the boats became known,
from the hazardous downwards trip as 'Bob-slayers'. Just as the British
aristocracy had transformed the rude world of the the Thames watermen into the
sporting duel of the boat race, a visiting peer, Lord Handa of Abet, saw the
sporting possibilities of the G & T boats. He had smaller, lighter versions
of the carrying boats built, and changed the name slightly in order to
popularise the sport. However it is notable that bob-slayers still use the
vigourous language of their commercial ancestors, and indeed the names of the
passes have become generally used expletives among boatmen, sportsmen and
others across Europe.
This part of the canal made a deep impression on all who
used it - so deep that the canal company had to set up shelters where boatmen
could absorb some Dutch courage before undertaking both the upward part of the
journey (where loaded boats made the ropeway creak and sway so much that they
were called 'gondolas', a term which has stuck to their successors) and the
downward part. For this the company invented heated gluhwein to be drunk both
at the top of the pass, to ensure that the boatmen were warm enough to maintain
some control, and at the bottom, to restore them to operational status and
minimise the effects of frostbite. It is from these shelters that the apres-ski
movement has originated.
With the coming of railways McAstle vigourously pursued
contracts for the new transport system; for publicity purposes he changed his
name by deed poll to McAlpine to draw attention to his record of expertise in
civil engineering. The twin pressures of the railways and the objections of
aristocratic sportsmen to their activities being interrupted by boats under the
dubious control of intoxicated 'gondoliers' led to the sections of the route
over the high passes being taken over by sporting interests. The Swiss Army
siezed on the locks as ready-made command bunkers, roofing them over for
protection and concealment and erasing all sign of the channel so they could
not be traced by an enemy. Though there is no apparent sign of the canal, the
locks continue to serve a vital strategic purpose; the industrial archeologist
attempting to investigate near a group of soldiery gathered in an apparently
featureless piece of countryside will find himself dissuaded with extreme
politeness and firmness form carrying on his researches. Indeed the sudden and
mysterious disappearence of members of the canal industrial archeological
community may be attributable to the Internetzpolizei who are responsible for
maintaining the security of these bunkers.
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