No. 15 - Shiny Novice Initiation Rings
These mooring rings are placed opposite the winding point
used by clapped-out workboats on a cut-price rubble-shifting contract. They are
awarded gold star status if scratches on the moored shiny boat expose bare
metal.
No. 29 The Cyclist Hater’s Greeting
This refers to those occasions when the steerer greets a
passing towpath cyclist with distracting enthusiasm. Points are deducted if the
bicycle is not retrieved from the canal
No.31: The wet picnic rope
This is accidentally dropped when the picnic is between the
lockside and the lock bollards. Merit award if it drips in the trifle.
No. 37 Narrowboat denumeration for Thames Cruisers
This is operational only during the week before a National
Waterways Festival at Beale Park. When a narrowboat meets a Thames cruiser
where they are counting the number of narrowboats, the crew of the narrowboat
shout out a random sequence of numbers between 30 and 200, causing the counter
on the cruiser to lose the tally and have to start again.
No.42 - the “Dirty Old Man” Wave
This is when the steerer waves at a child in a push-chair
accompanied by a young mother in a boat-necked tee-shirt. The mother turns
towards the boat and bends forward over the push-chair to persuade the child to
wave back. Extra points are awarded for bra-less.
Originally written
for the newsletter of the "Nationals" in 2005, 2006 & 2007 |
