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Duke of Bridgewater : Ah, Mr Brindley.
James Brindley : 'ow do, Yer Grace.
Duke : I'm recommended that you're the very man I'm
looking for.
Brindley : 'ow so, Yer Grace?
Duke : I'm told by Mr Gilbert and Lord Trentham that
you're an excellent engineer.
Brindley : What's one o' them, Yer Grace?
Duke : Well, you are ... er ... aren't you?
Brindley : Beggin' yer pardon, Yer Grace, I'm a
millwright.
Duke : Well yes, of course. I've heard of your good
work in that respect. And I'm told you've done some interesting work on mine
drainage.
Brindley : Aye, 'appen I 'ave at that.
Duke : So you've got all the skill and experience I
need.
Brindley : Mayhap. But what for, Yer Grace?
Duke : I want you do build me something.
Brindley : Aye? What?
Duke : An Heritage.
Brindley : What's one of them, then?
Duke : Well it can be one of many things. This one
will be a watercourse. Man-made and independent of all rivers.
Brindley : Dost mean a canal?
Duke : Well, it's a bit like a canal, I suppose. But
only in form. To look at it, the ill-informed might think it were a canal. But
the truly learned would see it as what it really is, an Heritage.
Brindley : Oh, aye? And where'd you want it built
then, Yer Grace?
Duke : From my coal pit at Worsley to Salford, or
Manchester, or somewhere.
Brindley : Aye, to take thy coal to market.
Duke : Well, it might come in useful for that. But
such sordid commercial development is far from my mind. I want to create an
Heritage.
Brindley : But what for?
Duke : So that in two hundred and forty years time
people can enjoy it as part of their heritage.
Brindley : 'Ow so, Yer Grace?
Duke : Cruise it in their boats. Catch fish in it.
Take photographs of it. Walk along it. Write books about it.
Brindley : Photographs?
Duke : They'll have invented them by then. In fact
people will even collect old photographs of it.
Brindley : But if tha wants to get it to Manchester,
tha'll have to cross the Mersey & Irwell. 'Ows thee gonna do that? Build a
canal in the sky?
Duke : By Jove, there's an idea. An aqueduct, like
the Roman ones. That's an idea truly deserving of the title of an Heritage. But
can you build it for me?
Brindley : 'appen I can. The canal and the akkyduck
both.
Duke : It's not a canal. It's an Heritage.
Brindley : Well, yer Grace, I reckon I can build your
'eritage, if that's what tha wants it called. Now, 'ow big do you want it made?
'ow wide? 'ow deep?
Duke : I'd not really thought. Let's see, it will
need to be big enough for Baronets from Canada to use their Dutch Barges on it.
Brindley : Baronets? Canada? Dutch barges?
Duke : Oh yes, that's the sort of thing that happens
to Heritages. Now can you do it?
Brindley : Aye, I can do it. Gi'me a few days an'
I'll give thee a price for the job.
Originally written
as a posting to the Usenet newsgroup uk.rec.waterways and the mailoing
list canals-list@wahoogroups.com on 2 April 2006. |
